In My Life

I can't quite put my finger on what emotion it is that I'm experiencing.  It's exhibiting behaviors of grief, of anticipation, of relief, and of expectation of subtle life changes and the possibility of major life changes.

It is devastating that the one person I feel shares my interests and respects me as an adult and a friend, who doesn't incessantly and unnecessarily find negative judgements about me and my life and lived near me is leaving in a few weeks.  And I'm sure I will get over it relatively quickly but it's beyond me as to why this is effecting me quite as strongly as it is.  Disappointed.  It seems like I've grown away from so many people in my life recently. And I know why it has happened in some cases.  And I know that everything happens for a reason.  And I know that I will be okay.  I really just have to let it go.

I made a major sacrifice in being able to see friends by giving up my car.  I cannot expect my friends to understand this life choice.  But I would not be able to manage going to school with a car and insurance payment and add gas and maintenance on top of that?  I just wish all of my friends didn't reside in various parts of BFE around the city.  An hour or more bus ride for parties is really difficult to manage. Especially when it seems like I've grown a part from the place in the group of friends I once inhabited.  I'm going to end up being "that one guy" who comes around every so often.  I think I'm okay with that.  But I REALLY need to work on expanding my circle of people near me.

Tonight I'm on a Beatles kick.  I have to toggle between reading hilarious Jezebel comments and 50 Shades of Grey.  That book is INTENSE.

Mom and I are going to Canyon City a week from Saturday and I'm beyond excited about getting out of the city for a bit.  I need a chance to get out of my head also.  I wonder if it would be safe to be running on my ankle when it keeps swelling.