New life event - I sat AT the table in a meeting full of men, expressed a negative opinion, was taken seriously, prompted discussion about my opinion as well as an ask for me to do more observations. It. Was. Glorious. It gave me an incredible confidence boost. It made me feel as though I have truly found my calling.
And to be honest, it seems like a really have found my calling. My job is stressful and infuriating, it's challenging and requires I give parts of me I didn't know I had. But I wake up pretty much every day, excited to go in to work. It is a sensation that is foreign to me and one I can hardly wait to get used to.
Today, I got day drunk on wine soaked orange slices and impulse purchased a subscription of the Denver Business Journal as I was waiting for my laundry to dry. It was an interesting experience. I am old enough that the three article per month limit on free articles was causing enough irritation that I bit the bullet and bought the rights to view the fucking Denver Business Journal.
I am sitting in this odd place in my life where I am enjoying the last of an era - my living downtown, childless, with free Saturday afternoons - while also longing for my next step, the future; living in our brand new home, in a sort of suburban development, preparing to start a family, and working on our yard on Saturday afternoons. It is a lesson in living in the now. Because as wonderful as the future will be, the now is quite beautiful and will be a small tragedy to move on from.
Some days are excruciatingly difficult to reconcile being a married person through. There are days I wonder what my life would look like had I made different choices. I always come back to knowing I made the best choice. But sometimes it helps to internet stalk exes and what ifs in the daydream of what life would have been had other choices been made. And sometimes it feels really good to see that an ex you struggled to walk away from is really not aging very well. Sometimes that feels really fucking good.
I think I'm going to get a Masters in Project Management or Business Administration. It doesn't make sense to me to continue learning things I know a lot about and can continue to learn about for free when I COULD be learning a new and complimentary skill set. Now I just have to get started. And then keep trudging through the many years it will take me to finish. But I got this.
Montreal was absolutely stunning. The food. Oh my goodness. The food. And the streetgrid! And the historic buildings! And the four minute subway headways! And the parking protected bikeways! And the food. The market! The coffee! And the people were so kind. There were little pocket parks every few blocks. It was fantastic and I wish we could go back for good.
Summer will go quickly. It always does. And then it will be Autumn. And I will start the next leg of this life journey. So for now I will work on maintaining gratefulness for where I find myself today.
It has been a year since I finished my undergrad. And truth be told - I am doing just fine.
