A Day in the Life

I'm starting to have a really clear picture of what my life is unfolding for me.  I have two years until I start Grad school and a little less than a year and a half of school to complete.  I'm considering taking the full two years to finish undergrad.  For various reasons, I might as well.  It will give me a little more breathing room

It seems like the more exercise I do, the less progress I see.  However, I realize that it is unlikely that I will continue to get fatter with exercise and it simply makes me feel better physically and emotionally and that is enough, at this point, to keep me moving forward.

The future has never really looked quite as clear as it has been recently.  Every couple of years, my favorite Beatles' song changes.  It is incredible to me that they produced a discography that I can grow up to nearly 50 years later.

This might be my current favorite.

Weekly Revelations

I realized, very recently, that I'm really, really phenomenally good at pushing people too hard, too fast, too far.  Maybe I'll work on this.  Definitely I'll lay off.

The smell of my Lancome facial moisturizer if wonderful.  It's delicate and classy and not overpowering.  I need to find a perfume that smells like it.

So far, Spring has brought more snow than Winter.  Though I'm not surprised, I'm still disappointed.

Today I met with my advisor and realized that I will not be able to finish before December 2014.  Which I sort of anticipated; however, I did not realize I needed another science with lab.... Fuck that.  I also figured out that I will not qualify for honors regardless of getting all A's before I finish so that takes some pressure off.  Now I just have to make sure I finish with at least a 3.0 which is totally doable.

I've decided to focus on Portland State.  They are a transportation oriented program in an awesome city in a blue state and I can qualify for in state tuition.  Austin seems like a good choice but thought Austin is an island in a red state, it is still in a red state.  Tuition would be more expensive and outside of Austin, there is not much to see and explore.  Denver is option 3.

I'm having some serious doubts that I will have more occupancy in my apartment before the fall.  I understand but it hurts my feelings a little bit.

Tonight I will enjoy my tacos and science talk.

A Pocketful of Soul

I come back to questioning whether there is one person for each person.  Sometimes I wonder if there aren't four or five people for each person. And we find the person who fits us first and most efficiently. Today, I decide that I'm going to take care of my own needs first and foremost and if that means space, then so it goes.  Comprehensively, there are many aspects to who I am and many of those facets are some of which I have not yet explored.  Those are parts of myself that are fascinating and infuriating and confusing.  It seems that I know less of the depths of my own soul then I previously assumed.

Papers and Crosswalks

I'm working on a paper about the Denver Living Streets Initiative and in doing so, I've been reading some of the criticisms of multimodal transportation initiatives.  I do this so that I don't find myself flat-footed in a bubble of the choir planners preach to about all the amazing awesome ideas they (me someday) have to fix an entire sector of societal woes.  But some of the criticisms cause me to falter in my humanitarian faith.  It is beyond me that so many people are so quick to find criticism in new ideas without considering alternatives to those ideas.  This is one of my biggest pet peeves.  I am completely okay with constructive, well considered and thought out criticism of ideas but to simply dismiss ideas and stick to the same status quo simply because you cannot fathom the abstract idea of what change might look like is small minded.  I don't believe in not trying simply because something might fail.  Failure is an opportunity to fix the idea to become a better and more useful idea.

Doing nothing is not an idea I can come to terms with in any part of my life.  I think the people in my life have come to understand this about me.  A personality flaw or otherwise, that is who I am and I like that about me.  I am strong and opinionated.  I am compassionate and smart.  I will tell you when I think you're being shitty and I will thank you when you are kind and find a way to repay and pay forward the kindness.  I will be successful because I don't stop trying new ideas until I find something that works.  Spent costs do not phase me like they do other people; nor do regrets.

However, I do believe if one of you shitty drivers who seem to have no concept or value of human life takes my life because you do not understand that you are driving a one ton metal death machine and are oblivious to your surroundings and distractedly take my life, you will change your own life in a terrible way.  Slow down.  Look before you turn.  Understand that the crosswalk is not where you park waiting to turn and that it is very dangerous to push me into oncoming traffic because you can't stop before the giant white lines indicating cross walk.  And please, if you impede my ability to safely cross the street in a heavily pedestrian oriented crosswalk, don't flip me off as you drive away.  That makes you a giant asshole.

Sunday Morning Musings

Yesterday was one challenge after another.  Because I attended the amazing Nuggets-Thunder game the night before, I was tired at work.  There is so much tension at my job between management and it really affects the mood of the office.  Luckily one of these managers is going to another branch starting tomorrow.  At the end of the day, closing procedures were not done correctly which meant we had to stay late to fix the issue, both managers were exceptionally bitchy with blame for the other.  I'm done with this drama.  Get over yourselves.

I have an interview for an internship I'm not sure I even want.  Since it seems interesting and like it would be an incredible experience, I'm continuing with the process.  Just in this moment, I have realized that there has not been a single internship that I haven't been called to interview for.  This is something to be proud of.  Now I just need to close the deal.

There have been issues with the drains backing up.  My tub and toilet fill with nasty brown water and leave nasty brown residue when it finally drains.  I went for the longest run I've ever been on, 3.5 miles and returned to be unable to shower or use the toilet and it took until 8:00 last night for the issue to be resolved.  Though my landlord did come and clean my bathroom the whole thing was really stressful.

I've decided that I have no more room in my life for people who don't respect me enough to respect my time.  I am awesome enough for it to not be a chore to have me around and I have people in my life who know that and people who don't.  Going forward, I choose only the people who know that.

The weather is nice enough again today I can run again.  Today will be a good day.