A Continuation Into Meaning

This has been a really wet spring. Every time I put seeds in the ground the weather becomes cold and the rain begins to pour. Both of these weather factors keep my seeds from sprouting. Especially my warm wether plants. Luckily, well, hopefully, the weather stays warm through October; that should give my plants enough time to produce. In the meantime my dryer and a heating pad should hopefully produce enough heat to inspire some sprouts.

My garden has really become my haven. I pour all of my spare time, my spare change, and my spare emotion into the beauty that is beginning to transpire on my deck. Whenever I think I am running out of room I find a way to rearrange and create more space.

I have been considering making food products as a line of business. It would not be retail which makes me happy and it is not farming which eases my mind about actually being able to earn a living. I am still able to pursue my passion; good food.

The high road

"I've looked at clouds from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow, It's cloud illusions I recall. I really don't know clouds at all."

Crossroads. This is where it ends. This is where it begins. This is it.

Molting. The changing of my skin. The changing of my ideals. The changing of me.

Grasp. Holding on to what I know. Grabbing for the unknown. Releasing my clinch.

Since the spinning has stopped. For completion of focusing on the world. Everything seems so clear.

I am not on this earth to answer phones; however, answering phones will ultimately shape the outcome of what my impact comes to be.

I will make an impact on the world without leaving a footprint on the earth.

My high school senior year book quote: Let the world change you and you will change the world.

There is something I can do to save the world and I aim to journey towards what this might be.

The measure of a person is his or her ability to do an ordinary task in an extraordinary way.

It is my prerogative to do just that.

Cheshire Cat Chronicles

Today I feel poor and unappreciated. I feel like I have nothing. I know that I have everything I could want or need.

Do you ever just feel lost? This must be how Alice in Wonderland feels. Except, luckily, my cat neither smokes nor is able to disappear-Thank God for that.

I have read quite a bit lately how escaping consumerism can lead to a happier life. I can see how this might be. I just don't know how to do it. I am surrounded by consumers; my work is in supplying consumers I am living with a compulsive consumer.

I think I would like to disappear.

The Lemons

This is where I stand currently.

At 23 years old I am making less money than I have in the last three years and have more bills to pay. I suffer verbal abuse throughout my entire day of manning a phone at the end of a 1-800 number. Every single day that I manage the gumption and courage to go back to work and sit back down at the end of my phone is another day in which I lose a little bit more faith in the intelligence of the general population. Every single day that I take another phone call from another idiot who wants to yell at me over something he or she does not fully understand pulls me further and further into a bitchy attitude I did not used to posses.

At the end of the torture that is my work week I have the divine pleasure of diving head first into my passions. Isn't that, after all, the purpose of enduring torture? A better sense of the beautiful things in my life?