In An Attempt to Make Myself More Sleepy

"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy."

Choosing to not move back to Seattle has proven to be one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself.  The opportunities that have opened for me since the moment I made that decision have been larger than I could have possibly dreamed.

The one thing I have wanted for the better part of my 20's is finally starting to take shape; direction.  I know where I want to go with my life and I know how to get there and I have been able to do more to advance these goals in the last two years than before then.

I have conviction and confidence in who I am like never before.

Though it hurt like hell, I have let go of people who choose to to not accept me for who I am.

I have a backbone that didn't use to exist and a snappy wit to let you know when you have crossed the line.

My goal of radical honesty has served and continues to bring immense efficiency to my life.  It irritates me when people waste my time by not being completely honest or forthcoming with me.

Somedays it scares me to get older but mostly it doesn't because the older I get, the more I trust my own decisions, the better I know my own heart, and the more sure of myself and my life I am.  This is invaluable to someone who suffers from chronic anxiety.  The more I experience, the less which is unknown to me, the less insecure I feel.

Somehow, I command more respect than I used to and this is an amazing feeling.  This line I've been straddling, between adolescent young adulthood and full adulthood is beginning to fade, in many respects, and in many ways I am totally okay with that.

So to celebrate being awesome I want to highlight some success in my life, small as they may be:
I have lost between 1/4 inch and a full inch on all of my measurements
I am in a position to apply for and be a competitive applicant for two separate transportation planning internships.
Having completed the citizens' academy I have a very important network working to help me succeed.
UCD Urban Studies undergrad will give me an entire semester of MURP graduate work and priority admissions acceptance to the UCD MURP program.
My program advisor described me as exactly the student who succeeds in this program and genuinely made me even more enthusiastic about my career path.
I have an opportunity to be involved in all the things that are important to me: art and aesthetics, Equity and giving people a fair shot at success, public health, politics, public transportation, beautiful places and appealing landscape and architecture, improving infrastructure and creating more sustainable cities, just to name a few.
I will get to play with really awesome data, demographics, and mapping software.
This path allows me to be a nerd in the most awesome way imaginable with other nerds who have common goals.

I have a feeling that 2013 will be a very important year for me.

Faith in Humanity Restored (Mostly)

This morning, I woke up on the right side of history and THAT feels amazing.  That gives me momentum to keep working towards my own goals and energy to succeed!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204349404578101520589031776.html

http://www.boston.com/news/politics/2012/2012/11/07/elizabeth-warren-defeats-incumbent-scott-brown-first-mass-woman-senate-hard-race-ends-victory-for-liberalism/acfZ1HHLDyWK05QZxh494J/story.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/07/us/politics/indiana-senate-race.html?_r=0

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2012/11/07/claire-mccaskill-legitimately-shuts-down-todd-akin-in-missouri-senate-race/

http://www.mydesert.com/viewart/20121106/NEWS01/311060021/Colorado-Washington-voters-legalize-recreational-marijuana?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Ctext%7CFrontpage%7Cs

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/06/gay-marriage-results_n_2074188.html

Maybe a change of heart about how much government should have control over reproductive rights and who a person marries and what a person puts in his or her body is in order?  And maybe candidates have learned that running on a platform that requires a woman to carry a child of rape to term is a bad platform to run on.

Pep Talking

I can not get on board with getting ready for work, this morning.  I just want to stay snuggled up on the couch for another couple of hours.

There are only 2 and a half more days of work, this week, and then I start vacation.  Hopefully I will get a call back from CDOT, this week.

I'm starting to think I am developing a vitamin D deficiency.  Lately, I've been crazy depressed and non-motivated.  This is a problem, since I have an insane workload that needs to be accomplished in a week and a half.

Deep breaths.  When the week and a half is finished, I will have accomplished so very much and will have every reason to feel proud of myself.  So carry on, and move forward is all I can do.  And all I will be doing.

Ugh... I suppose I should be getting ready to go now.