I need to expand on my network. It feels rather restricted, confined and non-inspirational. I imagine couples' and game nights with Brian and Iris and Becca. And I imagine going camping and hiking with the above mentioned people and Therese and Luke and I imagine movies in the park and ice skating in the winter and having a buddy to go snow boarding with. Living alone is starting to feel really lonely. Maybe it's just tonight. I want to wake up with someone and make breakfast and have a lazy Sunday together. We can take a swing dancing class together and meet new friends together, in the process. We can go to places like Williams and Graham, South Broadway and the grocery store. I want to make friends with my neighbors. It makes me happy that when walking through my neighborhood I can expect to be cheerily greeted by 3 or 4 people also walking or sitting on front porches. It increases my quality of life 10 fold. I feel like I have nothing in common with people in my life anymore. And I realize that I've covered about 6 different topics in this one paragraph, and yes, it bothers me grammatically as well.
I need a big change. I'm feeling massively claustrophobic about something. Something is not right. I put a big damper on my ability to just go and make big changes in my life by committing two years to myself in one place. I will have to be creative about my sources of change.
It seems like all the things I had complaints about with Andrew have gone away. He communicates really well with me, he shares his feelings about things without being poked and prodded to do so, he is attentive my needs and likes and takes my recommendations seriously, he cares about having my work schedule so he knows when he can talk to me, he cares about what I want and he has had to take care of his own damn self for some time now and has a better understanding of what that is like. I feel like he appreciates me more. I've been burned by dreams in the past, I hope this fire does not do the same.
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