You can't break my heart if I don't give it to you. Survival, emotional and otherwise seems to require a poker faced coolness that I have been hard to come by. But it's getting better.
The smell of the rain on the pavement is blowing in through my windows. The thunder cracks from far away. What a perfect day. Myself and I have spent the entirety of my waking hours in complete solitude, taking care of only my needs, nursing only my own wounds and appreciating where I have found myself, in my life.
While I was showering a little bit ago I thought back on having my eyebrow pierced and that this was during a time in my life what was fundamental in setting the trajectory to where I find myself right now. If I never would have broken my ankle I maybe never would have had the same opportunity to test what I will tolerate and I would maybe not be sitting here, now, examining what I'm doing with my life.
But what I appreciate about the whole thing is that I genuinely like who I am. And though I'm not perfectly where I want to be in my life, I still have more to work towards, more to experience and to become. Right now, in this moment, I am okay, I have enough, I am blessed with amazing people, friends and family.
But fuck it would be nice if I could secure employment. As soon as I do, I have finally chosen my tattoo. And I need a new sports bra.
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