I almost feel liberated from DLR. He doesn't have the power to make me crazy or fretful or angry anymore. I nearly feel as though a celebration is in order. I am planning on an internship in New York between undergrad and grad school. Things are going to be good, really good. I will be okay.
I want to come to a point, with myself, where I am content. I still feel the sting of the end of dlr. And I know that it will pass. But this loneliness thing. I have to be able to be by myself. Happy, by myself. Is it possible that the ping of loneliness in the back of my being could pass without being filled?
And since I desperately need to revaluate what I'm looking for in a relationship partner, some time alone would be good for me.
My type- Skinny/muscular, pot smoking, snowboarding, liberal, book nerd, indie-music loving, non-communicative, demeaning, assholes.
How do I keep the book nerd, liberal, indie-music loving, outdoorsy guy without having the non-communicative asshole for the ride? Does this person exist? I don't think it does. It doesn't seem possible. Even the guys who are not my type keep turning out to be assholes. Maybe my type is simply asshole. I should let someone else be in charge of picking my boys. Clearly it's not something I'm very talented at. FML.
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