I really want someone to hold me right now and kiss me. I want to feel good about a boy. I am okay. I feel okay. But I also feel a little lost and scared and unsure of the future. The year will be ending in a few weeks and it scares the hell out me. What is going to happen in the next year? It seems impossible that all I went through in the last year could have possibly happened and another year of so much activity scares me. It's beyond me that I have survived the last year and it's exhausting to consider having to do it again. It was tumultuous and exciting and painful and fun and strange. How do I stay strong? When do I get to back down and not have to stand so tall? Behind the scenes, I'm a disaster, a hot mess, one wrong look away from falling apart. I'm doing so much by myself and I don't think I can survive this.
No comments:
Post a Comment