Oh my goodness. I am a mess. I just freaked out over the possibility that Andrew will find love in his life again before I will. American Ido is the worst thing I have ever watched in the entirety of my life. I don't even have the sound on and just the absurdity of what I see simply out of the corner of my eye makes me want to fight. This is the worst portrayal of Colorado I have ever seen. It's atrocious.
It occurred to me, this morning, that I have stopped picturing my future with a man in it. I don't care anymore. Or maybe it's just that I have given up hope that a man exists for me in the future. Maybe I have spent so many years in a relationship that I have maxed out my relationship karma. Or maybe I need to be selfish for a while longer. And enjoy not having to share or smell other people's farts or worry about someone else smelling my feet after a long day or morning breath or erect penis' in my back when I wake up in the morning, spewing little bits of pre cum in an effort to woo me into spreading my legs when I feel least sexy during the day.
It makes me crazy nervous that I'm going to get fired at my job. They keep firing people who are seemingly good employees.
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