My apartment and my life are a mess. Pretty much, I just feel numb and angry and stressed out. I am my only salvation in this world. I am the only one who can make me happy and quite frankly, I'm just done with most other people. Really, slowly, and officially, I feel like I'm slipping into a slight depression. My confidence is nil and void right now. Maybe I'm pms-ing. I just feel off and upset. Nothing is making me feel better right now.
How is it that I have taught all of my ex's about learning to love and how to do well for themselves and yet here I am, lonely, broken, and unwanted? My heart is broken in so many pieces and each time I try to pick them up, something else comes along, shattering the broken pieces into millions of shards of what used to be my heart, my soul, who I am. I don't know who I am. So many pieces are lost, there are so many voids that need to be filled with new pieces and in the meantime, pain is just pouring from the voids.
I decided to come home from work, my headache had gotten entirely too awful to bear the terrible lighting and echoing noise of the warehouse building. And now that I'm home the dryer is squeaking in the room next to me. FML. I don't think I will go to work tomorrow either. Between now and then I will figure out what I'm going to do about finding a doctor to sign off on my fmla paperwork so I'm not penalized at work for missing. I'm tired.
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