I picked up my garden journal today to start planning my 2011 garden. It will be a quarter of the size as last years garden and it will be only in my window sill but I think that plants in my little apartment will make all the difference in how I feel day to day. Especially now that the cat has moved out. I'm planning mostly herbs: dill, mint, lavender, thyme, rosemary, chives, basil, oregano, and sage. I'm also going to get a jasmine plant to hang, a prayer plant or a peace lily to put in the bathroom window and a snake plant to put behind my stereo. I might also put some inexpensive, colorful annuals in my bed window. We'll see how my garden budget looks by the time I do everything else. Plants make me so happy. Something about growing something successfully just has such an intense effect on my outlook of the world. It releases infinite endorphins.
I also started writing down my recipes in my recipe journal. I think this will keep me grounded in my dream to open my restaurant. I also spent some time on the facebook page of one of my favorite restaurants where I picked up some more information. It was really pretty calming for me to have spent my morning doing two of these things that I LOVE doing.
Lately, my journal posts have been a few days worth of me adding on to one post. My mind is so wanderous lately that it's hard for me to feel like a post is finished in one sitting.
I made incredible cinnamon rolls last night.
I want to know where my life is going, it feels so meaningless and lost right now. I feel like I have no direction. I do have direction and plans. I do plan on going back to school this summer and I do dream of opening my restaurant where I can have a beautiful effect on people's lives every single day.
I think I'm ready to find love in my life again. It seems like I have had enough of my single person, going out all the time, dating random guys, single lifestyle. It's just not really me. But I'm very thankful to have had the experience, now I know that I'm not really missing anything. Waking up hungover all the time, regretting things done and said, I'm just not feeling like this is the best way to go forward with my life. It's time to focus on self improvement, developing my style, my flair, and who I really am. I have some room to grow and I'm ready to get started with who I want to be. As of today, I am completely self-assured in what I want in my life. I want to find someone to spend my life with, to build a dream with and maybe have a family with. I want to finish school in the next two years. I want to pay off all of my debt in the next 5 years and I want to open my restaurant in the next 8 years.
I am a beautiful, dynamic, hard working woman who will make all of this happen. I have a make it happen attitude and demeanor and it's time to put it to work. I'm finding my way in life, it would just be nice to feel like I had a set direction every now and again.
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