Feelings of Extreme Melodrama

Today was a great day and this one moment of bummed-outness is not going to ruin the whole day.  But I came home to find four very close friends all checked in at a girl's night that I neither knew about nor was invited to and it bummed me out. It stings of childhood, a bit.  We grow older and we think we grow out of those things but the pang of exclusion still hurts on a certain primal level.  I couldn't have even gone so I don't know why I'm getting all bent out of shape over it.  But it really makes me not want to speak to any of them for a good long while.  I might even have a small cry over it.  It's like it's that one small straw that is finally going to break me into the meltdown I haven't had in a while.  It's cool.  I'll get over it. But holy fuck am I stressed out over how I'm going to handle the next month and a  half of my life.  I think I will withdraw from society and do nothing but go to work and come home.

It's weird.  On my way home I was feeling high with happiness.  It's a beautiful night and I walked through a beautiful neighborhood all the way home.

Where all the houses look like this:

And all the gardens look like this:

And I always feel like I'm in some kind of enchanted fairy tale while I daydream on my walk home.

And on the subject of daydreaming, I caught myself doing an extra-special lot of it, today.  I could not focus on anything.  

I kept thinking about my dream wedding; I was being such damn girly girl.  What the hell?  I don't do things like daydream about weddings.  But since I did do it, I am going to tell all about what I came up with. 

I pictured a brunch wedding at a Victorian style farmhouse with a large yard and a barn.  I picture hay bales, burlap and lace; sunflowers, lavender and wheat. I picture a huge brunch spread that he and I made most of and little jam favors and this cake:

Okay, I'm going to take a shower and allow myself to wallow in self-pity briefly before get over it and move on with my life with my big girl panties pulled up.