Stereo Love

I don't understand why I'm hurting so badly right now. I'm so jaded by men right now. I fucking hate you. I can't believe what I put up with you. And here I am fucking around with the picture of irresponsibility. What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I a glutton for punishment? Why do I search out these men who make me hate so much about myself? I'm so angry right now. I don't even know if I'm angry with me or you or him or the other him or could it be that other him. I can't even hold it together right now. What the fuck life? When do I get a break? And as far as me in a relationship goes. I don't think that's a good idea right now, for for that matter, for a long time. Do I really need to commit to another asshole? All men are assholes, I guess it's good that he is openly honest about being an asshole. I'm really bitter right now. I'm bitter because I am damaged merchandise now. I have been raped by a man, I have been hit by a man, I have been cheated on by a man, I have developed eating disorders, depressions, low self-esteems, gained weight, and felt like a crazy bitch because of men. Where do I begin and what they created end? How do I begin to feel good about myself consistently again? How do I not lose myself in the identity what these men have done to me has created? How do I believe that I am not just the circumstances of my life but how I move on from them? FML