Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Hell On Heels

If the reason you choose to not go after your dreams is because they are too big or too scary, then you don't have a good enough reason.

Today I feel like gold.  I went for the thing I debated being too big and too scary.  I took my own damn advice and I won.  It happened for me, a break, a start, my foot in the door.

My head is held higher than normal, my confidence is in-tact, I can face the world again and it feels great.

I am a feminist who values a clean home and a healthy homemade meal.  I am a feminist who will not back down from a challenge.  I am a feminist who can be a bitch with an attitude and a lady with class. I am a feminist who will wear my pearls and my heels.  I am a feminist who will not be defeated.  I am a feminist who will embrace her emotions; tears and smiles alike.  I am a feminist who believes in community.  I am a feminist who is a citizen of the world.

When we look back, I will have pride, knowing that I stood on the right side of history.  I am so tired of the rhetoric of election season.  When I read the comments of so many misguided Americans I know, with out a doubt, society and the education system have failed so many.  So many hearts are filled with hate and with ignorance.  And it breaks my own heart, at times.

To have been selected for the Transit Alliance Citizens' Academy means that someone else believes in my potential to make a difference in the world, in my ability to be a community leader, in my future and my ideas.  I do not stand alone in believing in myself, I have forum to learn and to voice my opinions and ideas about something I am passionate about.  This is my opportunity, my big break and I will not let it go to waste.

Jezebel posted an article about benchmark years and the comments that followed were exactly what I needed to read.  I need to know that other people find this age to be frightening.  I need to know that I am not alone in my feelings of inadequacy and pressure to do more, to be more.  And I'm not.  I feel loved and surrounded by people who stand with me.  It's important, as women, that we stand together and support each other through our various times in our lives.  Jezebel really does a great job of fostering that environment.  Which is why I return to the site day after day to remind myself why I fight for the ideals that I strive for.

Every time I read the statistic that one in five women will be raped in her lifetime I am astounded that this statistic is as high as it is.  Someday I want to be a voice to young women as someone who is the one of those five in her group of friends.  I don't think I'm ready for it now, I wouldn't even know where to start that wouldn't involve me in tears.  But I've been doing a lot of direct contact with that part of my history, forcing myself to reconcile what happend and to be okay with myself over it.  I'm closer than I have ever been but nowhere near where I want to be.

This song makes me tear up every time, it's beautiful and I want to share it with whomever might be reading and sharing in my Meaningful Life Journey with me.





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