This has been a rough few weeks. It feels like my body and immune system was under the impression that we all held it together brilliantly for the last year so everyone was going on vacation. And in moved a boil that turned into like 25 boils. Next came the cold sore. And the runny nose. Then the cough. Then my asthma was like... hold my beer. But with some good meds and the world's most expensive asthma attack ER visit I seem to be doing quite well again.
Sam and I had our first fight. We worked it out okay. I think I handled it reasonably well. And he did too after he came to understand that he had hurt me with his actions. He brought me sliceworks the next night because he might actually be the best.
Things just feel different with him. I'm comfortable with how we operate together. I have enough space to myself to not feel like I'm throwing my summer of me to a man. And enough of him to feel loved and wanted when I need it. And the sex is mind blowing. So there's that. He gives me space to be me. And he doesn't shy away when I'm weird. While no perfect human exists, he fits me quite well.
I'm tired. And happy.
I've been getting the urge to settle down and start a family now that things are slowing down for me. This isn't all that unusual given that I was there with Andrew before I burned that life down and started over. I don't want to rush into anything with anyone who isn't the right match for my future.
My apartment is unequivocally and unapologetically me. It is glorious. It has been a wonderful place to reground myself. It feels safe here. I'm going to start weaning down my antidepressant. Which means I need to start seeing my therapist again.
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