These hormones are making me feel like I'm having a bad trip. I don't even care if you call or text, but now that you put it out there that you would, I kind of think you should. However, I'm not sure I even want you to call or text. It seems like my path, here, just kept going on without me and I just managed to catch back up with it after I took a ridiculous detour with the stupid idea that I would move to Seattle with a guy who turned out to be overbearing and manipulative. I was on drugs to think that was real. I'm exhausted by all of this. I'm exhausted by my detour. I'm exhausted by my life, by finals, by finding a job and unpacking my shit and being angry that I fell for his BULLSHIT! I'm angry that I don't know if I'll get my shit back! I'm angry I left shit there in the first place. You put up the front of some sweet, gentle, loving man up and made me believe you weren't psychotic and manipulative. Every single person I have talked to about this believes that you lost your damn mind with your logic. You're right, you have no logic, you have made up shit in your mind about the way you think things are and you are so off base with everything. And I fell for it! Thank you for showing me you are a controlling jerk before I made the giant mistake of moving in with you. I hate you for the way you made me question my convictions and who I am. How fucking dare you. I made it abundantly clear that you had to take me for who I am and not even 3 months in you wanted me to start changing. Clearly I'm not ready for a relationship.
But I'm back on track. I'm back to feeling like myself. I will be okay. But these effing hormones need to go ahead and work their magic and get the fuck out of my system.
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