Just give me back my broken heart

I don't know what to do about the cable guy; but, if I don't hear from him soon I'm going to have to walk away for good. I can't continue to play this game with him. He either gets to have no strings attached sex with me or he gets to hold my hand in public. Not both. I can't handle both. I'm a disaster right now. I want him to tell me he wants me in his life; however, I know that a happy romantic comedy ending is not what I will likely get out of this situation. I should just reject him completely and move on with my life and do so before he has the opportunity to reject me...again. He tells me that he needs to take my picture because I look so pretty and that he thinks I'm smart and loves my body and that it's a treat to eat the food I make and he holds my hand and me when we go out and yet I am still not what he's looking for? I don't understand. It can't possibly be about me and it's so hard to move past that it can't possibly be about me. Deep...breaths...